the great thank you note debate

OK.  I know this will be controversial.  But I have to be brave and take a public stand.  Whew! Here goes:

I am anti-thank you notes. I was not raised to send them, though it wasn't because my family was against it, more like they didn't think of it.  Actually "thank you" was sometimes only said with a cue.

Anyhoo, I grew up and started receiving these little thank you cards with a full paragraph inside which went on and on about how thoughtful my gift was.  At first, I thought the person was strange and that it was really overkill.   These notes actually slightly irritated me.   After all, they already thanked me in person for the gift.  

Then, I started noticing women frantically writing thank you notes after their weddings.  I soon realized that this thank you note business was primarily a female thing.  I even got one after I visited a female family member in the hospital.  I hadn't brought anything with me, but was given a thank note for "being so thoughtful".  While I did get a thank note on occasion from a male, it was rare and seemed to be in the language of their mothers, whom I had received many notes from over the years.  

And then I got a thank you note from a Christmas gift!!  Come on, that is almost passive aggressive in how utterly unnecessary it is.

At one point I actually tried to write my own thank you notes after my baby shower.  I ended up repeating myself a lot and sounding anything but sincere.  I soon went from irritated to actually angry about these little notes. 

Now, let me be clear here.  I am not against thanking people for gifts or actions or jobs well done.  In fact, I think people do not give credit enough.   I am actually a huge fan of the "thank you wave" in traffic when someone lets me in their lane.   

I try to make sure I've thanked the gift giver in person in a specific way as soon as I open the gift and then again when I say goodbye to them.  If it was something above and beyond, I follow up with a phone call.  I have called cashier's manager's when I get really great service.  I have even used email as a way to thank people. 

What I want to know is if I'm alone here on anti-thank you note island.  How do you feel about thank you notes/cards?  If you firmly believe in them, why?  Were you just raised that way?  Do you really feel they are just good manners and that other forms of gratitude aren't as good?