Can I Apply For A Job As A Rich Woman?

>> Friday, December 18, 2009

Here is my application:

Name: Magda Madison
Contact Information: magsmadisonATyahooDOTcom

What experience do you have being rich?

  • Flew first class to the west coast. I handled myself quite maturely when I realized Bonnie Hunt was seated two rows behind me.
  • Searched online for Mercedes cars.
  • Know someone who has a Rolex.
  • An avid watcher of Santa Barbara.
  • Experience trying on diamonds.
  • Cleaned a house in a gated community.

How do you plan on keeping a high profile?

Ok. That's easy, I will make sure to have plastic surgery, eat at Taco Bell and break windows with golf clubs.
I will volunteer for a reality show, where I will go bra-less and adopt some kids from another country.
I will change my name at least twice, change my hair at least weekly and only wear red--it will be my trademark.
During slow times, I will be prepared to go commando.

What causes will you champion?

  • Anything remotely related to an illness
  • the Beverly Hills Public Library
  • the Association for Hybrid Bentleys.

How will you maintain your lifestyle?

Simple. I will hire someone to maintain it for me.

Who will your friends be?

  • Sally Struthers
  • Bob Saget
  • Meridith Baxter (she's all the rage, ya know!)
  • Carol Burnett
  • Perez Hilton (I just love her!)

(photo credits: char1iej, Swamibu, FunnyTivoFace, birdtoes)