walking away from a fight?

>> Thursday, February 5, 2009

Not long ago, I found out a friend's child was being bullied in school. Her father talked to me at length about the problem and how it was likely this other little charmer was going to "beat up" his daughter. With having two older brothers, she was up for the challenge. Maybe too up for it.

Her dad was worried that she would actually hurt this other little girl. So, he basically told his daughter to walk away at all costs, even if it meant walking away with a bloody nose. He said it was the right thing to do.

Now, I am a peace loving gal, don't get me wrong. However, at that point in the conversation I had to keep my thoughts to myself. But I can tell you I was thinking, if this little brat hits your kid first she should get hit back. It's only right, right?

Isn't self-defense a valid policy in which people don't get judged or even charged if they are defending themselves?

But then it was Martin Luther King Day. The next day we swore in President Obama as the first African American US president. The president credited Dr. King with making this possible. I was so thankful to Dr. King for this. I felt like I was actually seeing part of his dream with my own eyes. It made me proud to be a US citizen, once again.

I had an "Ah-ha" moment. Dr. King preached non-violence as a way to resist what is unfair. I think my friend is trying to teach this to his daughter in the most relevant way possible.

It IS wrong to hit back. It just continues the violence. How does it end? With a teacher breaking it up, probably. But does that really settle it? The answer is no. If she walks away (and gets help) she stands a chance of actually settling it. She actually walks away stronger.

Good for her.


Sheila February 5, 2009 at 6:55 PM  

It's a tough call. Whenever my children were bullied, I wanted to wade in and fight for them, but as the 'adult' had to restrain myself.
Schools here have a zero tolerance policy for fighting, even in junior school (up to Gr.8) My grandson (Gr.8) has been suspended a few times for fighting, but he insists he has not been the instigator, and is just defending himself. It's difficult to back the school when the other party to the fight walks away without punishment. It takes at least two to make it a fight..no?
As bad as this will sound, I find myself wishing that the bully will come up against someone who will be his match. Perhaps with high school on the horizon, this will happen.
Until then, like the man who spoke to you, all we can do is encourage our grandson to walk away.

Maggie May February 7, 2009 at 1:01 AM  

i am dealing with this.

Maggie Madison February 16, 2009 at 8:16 PM  

It just sucks, doesn't it? Doesn't sound like the school is helping, either. What a shame!