sneezing is not my friend

I used to love sneezing.  It was like a little you-know-what.  It felt good.  And I must say, I sneeze neat.  No tissue needed or flying moisture to duck from.

But now, after pushing children forth and getting older, BAD things happen when I sneeze:

1. I split my lip
2. I pee (just a little so no one even knows)
3. I toot (not every time)
4. people stare (why is this?)
5. the staring people do NOT always bless me after (what's with THAT?)

Therefore, I am now a sneeze hater.  I will try whatever to stall such sneeze, including holding my nose, covering my face with my hands and drinking water.  If all else fails, I haul butt to the nearest ladies room to sneeze and recover. 

Anyone else who has a good method to stall a sneeze, please comment below.   Allergy season is starting and I'm starting to panic...