8 Secret New Year's Resolutions

After Christmas, instead of asking everyone, "How was your Holiday?", I would like to ask, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

This year, I was looking for a little companionship and fun. And to be honest, I didn't really get either.

I have realized that I need more fun and friends in my life. That is why my New Year's Resolution reflects that. I plan on socializing more in 2010. Or how about just socializing at all?

I think this is somewhat the way others determine their New Year's resolution. Every year many get their hopes up. It's called Holiday Spirit. People try to get "into" the meaning of the holiday. Others look to family and to a lesser extent, friends, to fulfill their Holiday Spirit needs.

I believe our secret New Year's Resolutions reflect, what deep down inside, we realized we were missing after the Holiday.

So we move on to improve things. We figure the new year is the answer for what we missed at the holidays.

The following are 8 well-known New Year's Resolutions and their secret counterparts:

1. The most popular not-so-secret New Year's Resolution's is to lose weight. With similar secret resolutions being: to look younger, wear more fashionable clothes, apply make-up more professionally, and of course, have more good hair days.


2. Probably the next most favored resolution is regarding money. Something along the lines of spend less, and/or make more. The connected secret aim is to get a new car, bigger house and more toys.


3. There's the infamous career advancement, which really means I want the boss to like me.


4. Of course, another attractive intention is to have closer relationships, companionship and understanding. These people secretly want love or just better sex.






5. I've also heard a lot about spirituality. People really want inner peace, change, a fresh start/clean slate, less stress, hope, relief, freedom, or just an easier life.


6. Another leading declaration is to be more organized, which translates to having a clean house or just more time in the day.


7. The people who wish to be smarter, declare themselves to want to go back to school.





8. The resolution to quit smoking is sometimes about health, but most often about control.


In my mind there is nothing wrong with trying to improve your life through a resolution, as long as one is committed and can sustain the momentum all year. My 2009 New Year's Resolution was vague, but I think I (barely) managed to sustain it. It was to put more effort into yournontoxiclife. How'd I do?

There may be more to come on the 2010 New Year's Resolution. I may use yournontoxiclife as an online diary of how well I do with making more friends and having more fun. Stay tuned.

Happy New Year!!!


(photo credits: Abigail Silvester, alancleaver_2000, Qfamily, DorkJr)

5 tips to help your child have a great school year

jaqian

It's back to school time! Time for kids to catch the bus, and time for us parents to get back into a routine. Of course, it's also time for us to start worrying.

We will worry about our child's friends, our child's relationship with their teacher, our child's academic progress, and, we will worry about how we will get all that homework done.

Well, to that I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?

How about we get the bad news over with: the truth is, when one of the above issues is just a little bit off, it can really affect our child's school year. If there are issues with friends, our child can be distracted and unhappy.

If (good forbid) our child's teacher isn't as smitten with our little darling as we are, our child could have a tricky year. If our child is not making adequate academic progress, then we are perhaps in for a multitude of meetings at a big table with school "experts".

And finally, if we, the parents, haven't got good organization and time management skills, then that homework may not get done properly or consistently.

OK, here is the good news: we can do things to put the odds in our child's favor. Below I have put together 5 tips to help your child have a great school year.

freeparking

1. Your child's friends
OK. We can't be with our kids 100% of the time. But we can try and supervise whenever possible. If our child is on team sports, we can try to observe his/her interaction with teammates as much as possible. We should volunteer at school as often as possible. This will give us a lot of information about the classroom environment.

Chicago 2016 Photos

2. The Teacher
OK. I am going to be really blunt here. Don't make the teacher mad. We need to remember and our child needs to understand that the teacher is to be respected. Teachers like respect.

Second, contrary to what they say, teachers do like presents, flowers and gift cards. But, mostly, they like hand drawn pictures and handwritten notes and poems, especially from the kids.

Lastly, and I can't emphasize this enough, teachers like and need help! Offer to help the teacher yourself. Even if us working parents can only offer to cut out laminating at home, teachers really like help.

3. Academics
If there are concerns about our child's academics, we need to collect evidence, uh, I mean facts. Keep any and all work, tests, and projects that cause you concern. We don't want the teacher to think we don't think she's doing her job.

Schedule a meeting with the teacher, around his or her schedule. Be specific about your concerns and listen to the teacher's plan. Give it some time to work before asking for a support team meeting.

4. Homework
This one is really simple but sometimes not easy. Just do it. If it's a battle, talk to the teacher about reducing the amount, having your child come in early, or just letting natural consequences happen.

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5. School Phobia/Anxiety
If this is happening, we need to meet with the teacher and principal as early as possible. Problem solve this issue as a team and come up with a plan. Make sure you are all in agreement or your child will sense discontent.

There you have it. Five tips to help you help your child achieve success in school. I'd love to add to this list. Please comment below and I'll add your tips!

Jeana Lee Tahnk: Am I Doing This Parenting Thing Right?

Jeana Lee Tahnk: Am I Doing This Parenting Thing Right?

By the time you really learn how to do motherhood and are getting it right consistently, it's over; they turn 18 and move out. Ah, what a gig it is!

The bully who defined me | PhD in Parenting

The bully who defined me | PhD in Parenting

This is such a heart wrenching story from Annie, PhD in Parenting, about her experiences with bullying for many years. I am curious about your experiences with bullying, too and I have the same questions for you that I asked of Annie.
What could've made the difference? Teachers doing something? Parents? Please comment below.

eyeglasses for $8

It is the summer and many folks in my state are now required to take their school aged children to the eye doctor.

To those of us on a budget, this strikes fear. I mean glasses and kids don't mix, right? They are expensive, and frequently get broken or lost.

Many parents ask of this new law: is it really about the kids or did the eye doctors lobby?

Well, politics aside, kids do need their eyes to be in tip-top condition in order to do well in school. Eyesight affects reading, math, following written instructions on the board, eye-hand coordination, and social skills. I can't tell you how many of my colleagues have mentioned a child struggling in school made a complete turn-around once they got glasses.

But back to the cost: it's prohibitive. Vision insurance is a joke. It's not really insurance, it's a small discount off the HUGE marked up prices in eye doctor's offices.

But I have found Zenni Optical and let me tell you, they are a godsend. I have spent hundreds of dollars on prescription eyeglasses and am always holding my breath for when that pair breaks or gets lost. But Zenni is an online store where you can get prescription eyeglasses for as little as $8!! NO KIDDING!

What's the catch? You do need a valid prescription with the "pupilary distance", which means the distance between your pupils. Your eye doctor may not put this on the prescription, so just make sure you ask or call for that number before you order your glasses.

But otherwise no catch. Check out these cute glasses for a little boy:





These are just USD $12.95 plus $4.95 shipping! I am serious. Please let me know what you think or if you've tried Zenni. With this economy, they have my business!

Note: this is a paid post, please see my disclosure policy below if you have questions about that.

my old "blankie"

When I was a kid I had what you would call a "lovey".  I called it my blankie.  It was a multi colored blankie, crocheted by my grandmother.  I loved that thing!  

It kept me warm in the winter.   In the summer it actually could be wadded up by my pillow and then I could always find a "cool" spot in it.

I do recall the first time I slept without it.  My parents had just split up and it seemed like my blankie was more important to me than ever.  My dad had picked me up and halfway to his house, about 15 minutes into the ride, I realized my blankie was not in the car.  Bless him, my dad offered to go back for it.  I hesitated, then decided a stuffed animal I already had at his house could do the job.

I learned that night that I was capable of sleeping without my blankie.  I surprised myself.  Prior to that night, I always dreaded the day when I would have to be without that blanket.  I was sure I would NOT be able to sleep.

But sleep I did and other than a bit of sadness when I first awoke and realized it wasn't there, I was proud of myself.  Looking back that was a real turning point in my life.

After that night, I continued to prove to myself again and again that I could do things.  I got all A's in school, I kissed a guy, I smoked a cigarette without coughing, I got a job, I made new friends, and most importantly, I managed to get through my parents' constant court battles.

Now my son has his own "lovey".   It is a loosely stuffed blue dog.  He sleeps with it every night and when I check on him, he is usually clutching it tightly.  I have had to wash it and dry it in the span between nap and night-night.

I try to banish the dog to just the crib, but sometimes the sight of him dragging the dog behind him into the kitchen is too cute and I give in.  I have no plans to try to take the dog away anytime soon.  Instead, I hope he finds his confidence the night a natural situation leaves the dog behind.

I would love to hear about your childhood "lovey".  Please comment back! 

the clothing optional phase of parenting

Otherwise known as the "terrible twos".  

At about two years old all my kids seemed to go through a phase where they wanted to take everything off to sleep in the "raw".  This sounds so organic and natural, but after cleaning up urine and poop in the middle of the night, it's anything but (no pun intended).

I tried talking, pleading and begging my toddler just to leave the clothes (and diaper) ON.

Ha!

I tried checking and rechecking on the little lovelies to try to stop the behavior in it's tracks.  No dice.

I put them in those zip up blanket pajamas no matter the season.  But those small Houdini hands and shoulders can pull through anything.

Finally, I talked to a friend whose kids are older and she suggested putting on footless zippered blanket pajamas, backward.  This worked great until the two I happened to have like that didn't fit anymore.

So I tried putting the footed zippered blanket pajamas on inside out, with the little tab thing snapped somehow on the inside.  It worked!  

However, some of my pajamas such as these do not have the little tabs and I still may be summoned at 2 am by a child insisting I "help"  by putting one uncomfortable arm back in.

As for the dayside nudist tendencies.  I haven't a clue, except to say "overalls for everyone!"

keep it simple, sweetie (or stupid)

Boy, does my life really complicate my life.

At work, we get three different answers from three different people.

My kids tell me about their school day and I seriously don't get all the: green for being good, I need paper clips tomorrow, sign this, drop me off early tomorrow, Tuesday is pajama day, I need brownie money.

OMG! I need a separate calendar just for each kids school related schedule.

At home, I have a cable company whose bill is so long and winding I do not even look at it anymore. Same for my cell phone bill: so many little fees and it goes up a little more each month. Makes no sense.

Even my washing machine is ridicuously thorough. While it's eco-friendly, there are way too many choices: Normal/Casual, Kids Wear Handwash/Wool, Silk/Ultra Delicate, Sanitary, Bulky/Bedding, Whitest Whites, Heavy Duty, and Express Wash.

Seriously.

I just want clean clothes.

i hate death

I mean really?  Whose idea was this anyway?  To put us here to struggle, learn, and struggle until we are just starting to see the lights begin to go on around us and finally inside, when bam!

It's gone and things are dark for everyone.

Then time goes by and heals the dark.  But soon the light stealer is back and he's taking hostages.

Innocence is lost.  Children realize too early how mortal we all are.

Death really sucks.

walking away from a fight?

Not long ago, I found out a friend's child was being bullied in school. Her father talked to me at length about the problem and how it was likely this other little charmer was going to "beat up" his daughter. With having two older brothers, she was up for the challenge. Maybe too up for it.

Her dad was worried that she would actually hurt this other little girl. So, he basically told his daughter to walk away at all costs, even if it meant walking away with a bloody nose. He said it was the right thing to do.

Now, I am a peace loving gal, don't get me wrong. However, at that point in the conversation I had to keep my thoughts to myself. But I can tell you I was thinking, if this little brat hits your kid first she should get hit back. It's only right, right?

Isn't self-defense a valid policy in which people don't get judged or even charged if they are defending themselves?

But then it was Martin Luther King Day. The next day we swore in President Obama as the first African American US president. The president credited Dr. King with making this possible. I was so thankful to Dr. King for this. I felt like I was actually seeing part of his dream with my own eyes. It made me proud to be a US citizen, once again.

I had an "Ah-ha" moment. Dr. King preached non-violence as a way to resist what is unfair. I think my friend is trying to teach this to his daughter in the most relevant way possible.

It IS wrong to hit back. It just continues the violence. How does it end? With a teacher breaking it up, probably. But does that really settle it? The answer is no. If she walks away (and gets help) she stands a chance of actually settling it. She actually walks away stronger.

Good for her.

giving the kids my choices

Many times, my kids act out.  This is kind of ironic as I spend a lot of my offline job helping adults deal with kids’ behavior problems.  Maybe I was just asking for it when I decided to have kids.

I have found the refusals get to me the most.  I mean, I don’t ask for anything unreasonable, but boy you’d think I asked them to sit still or something the way they refuse, delay or dramatize the request.  There are also excuses.   A lot of excuses.

 For example,

• "I”ll do it later"-maybe that’s what I should’ve thought about having kids
  
• "I can’t do it because daddy said so" (my personal fav)  well guess what, kid, daddy’s not here!
  
• "But my brother doesn’t have to do it." OMG, he’s an infant!
  
• "Why do I have to?"  Because I said so
  
• "Can’t I just be here?"  You will still be here while you do it
  
• "But I want a treat first."  Treat?  Treat?  How about an onion?
  
• "YOU do it!"  This one, I can’t respond to without becoming very toxic, so I ignore it
  

 

I have found it works best to give the kids choices in these trying times

• For example, you do it now or I’ll do it now while you are in timeout.
  
• Since daddy wants what I want, either do it, or I’ll do it….
  
• With the two and three year old, it probably works best to take advantage of the “I do it myself” syndrome, by giving the little darlings a choice to do it or mommy does it.
  
• With the older child, the choice is usually understood, and since I don’t respond to refusals, I just count them for a timeout.
  
• When kids are school age, timeouts may still work, but so will charging them off their allowance.
  

In sum, I have found a new way to be in control while my kids think they get the last word.  I give them two choices--both of which are fine by me--but they don't have to know that.

 

6 steps to a happier bedtime

The last child is down for the day. I smile at the wonderful silence in the house for the first time all day. I begin an independent thought of what I can do for the next hour when suddenly my blood pressure shoots up as I hear:

• "I want to be tucked in!!!!!!"
• "I'm thirsty."
• " I need my bear right now!"
• "You forgot to turn on my nightlight!"
• " I want you to sit in here."
• "Can I tell you something?"
• "Why is it dark?"

It's enough for me to totally lose my patience. Just go to sleep!!!
To save myself from irritation of toxic proportions and eventual implosion, I have come up with the following 6 steps to a happier bedtime. Me, being the happier one, not necessarily the kids. On most nights, with most of my kids, though, it really helps.

6 steps to a happier bedtime

1. Set a quiet time before bedtime. This is a time for everyone including me, to calm down. Only quiet activities are allowed. No loud voices or loud music. This can be 15-30 minutes before bedtime.
2. Bedtime Routine. I know you've heard about this one, but my reasoning is a little different. If you have a routine including all the things that need to be done, then you won't hear the reminder yelling 10 minutes after you put down your little lovies,. (See above for examples.)
2a. For older kids, the schedule could be in the form of a checklist. They can earn something (in the morning) for each complete checklist they fill out without help from you.
3. Start the process at the same time, every weeknight. Try to stick to it on the weekends, too.
4. Just do it.  After the last item in your routine, whether it be reading or praying, tuck them in, give a kiss and hug, tell em you love em and LEAVE.
5. Set limits.  If you have a yeller or a questioner, you can give them three "Question" cards, one of which they have to give you if you are summoned to their room. After a few weeks, limit it to two question cards per night, then eventually one. Or none!
6. Enjoy the serenity, now!

By the way, if your child has had an unusual day, is getting sick or had anything traumatic happen, the above tricks may not work. The same may be true about your day.  Why just last night I tried all my tricks and found myself rubbing a back for 10 minutes, after I had to physically introduce the little charmer to his room. Tonight it's back to the above, though.

cut the drama, queen!

OK, so I have been told I am a bit of a drama queen at times. And OMG! I'm so not. However, just in case there might be a teensy bit of maybe in there, I am willing to consider it. So I've done a drama evaluation of my life and come up with the following:

• I may have some shopping cart rage
• I get sucked into other people's drama ALL THE TIME
• When I have been on the phone with customer service and they apologize 85 times, I become, well, let's say, unaccepting of any more I'm so sorries.
• Don't mess with my kids. Let's leave it at that.

So, now that I have found evidence that there actually is a slight bit of truth in the accusation that I am a drama queen, I am going to show how un-dramatic I can be in solving this.

First, at the check out, I have been experimenting with letting the other person go first in a shopping cart face off. I like the feeling that I decide they will go first. I am still in control, so it's working so far.

Second, ALL the other people and their dramatic lives. Seriously. This is a doozie. I think my real problem here is I just care too much. OK, not really, but I do think I take in other people's troubles as if they were my own. Shocking, coming from a social worker, I know. So, I am trying to be sympathetic, but no too involved in all the issues my friends and coworkers seem to have on an ongoing basis.

Third, the customer service thing is when my inner b*&ch really comes out. I am trying to write the customer service people's names down while I talk to them and focus on the fact that they didn't personally try to screw me, it was their company. And also focus on the fact that their job has to suck when they deal with people like me. I'm getting so much better.

Lastly, I get very defensive when people criticize my kids. I mean they might be little deviants but they are my deviants. Whatever they do, they probably learned from Mommy so that crap always feels like it is aimed right at me. But lately I am trying to be more of a team player parent. So with that in mind, maybe the little buggers actually learned some of this stuff from DADDY. I might be onto something there; I'll just redirect my rage. Problem solved.

do your kids know about your money issues?

It never ceases to amaze me how perceptive kids are.  Many kids know their family’s biggest secrets.  Unfortunately they aren’t old enough to understand that it’s not something to tell the neighbors about.  My kid just described my daily meditation as medicating.  I'm sure his teacher will love to know his mom "medicates".  I can hear the rumors now. 

One of the most private family matters-money is something kids are naturally interested in at an early age.  They see how shiny coins are and are told not to rip up paper currency because it’s worth something.  They get piggy banks for their birthdays.  They see parents buy things with cash.  Many kids get allowances. 

To teach children about money we show them how to save money and donate to charity.  Maybe we even discuss investments.  We also work on budgets and financial planning, i.e. saving up for something they really want.

And how many times have you told your child that something is too expensive? This is how kids learn the relative value of money. 

All of these are great ways to teach kids about money.  However, in doing this, our kids can readily pick up on money problems that are going on at home.  Even if you never directly link things together.  For example, can’t sell house=two mortgages=using college fund=worry about future.   A child would even be able to link this to a vacation the family won’t be taking.  In fact, my kid did just that the other night at dinner.  He wanted to know if we sold the other house, could we go to the water park hotel.

Hey, it almost broke my heart.  But then I thought, this is a teachable moment that he may remember for the rest of his life.  I’ll be saying, remember the time we couldn’t afford to go on the water park vacation?  This is actually a good thing.

It's been a good thing for me,too.  I really think it's been good for me to have to live meagerly.  I have learned what is really important to me and had to figure out how to pay for it on one income and with the two mortgages.  I am making plans (maybe you could call it dreaming with this economy) to continue to live poor once the house is sold and everyone is working.  We'll be able to save up for some really fun things.

And my kids will live and learn about money and saving.    May I never have to bail them out when they are older; of course I'll have the savings to do so if I must. 

idle threats are your children's playground

If you are a parent, congratulations!  Soon you will see that you are a better teacher than you ever thought.  Kids are very smart and learn whatever we teach them, intentional or not (think grown up words).  For example, if we freak every time they fall down, they learn it's a surefire way to get our attention.  If we give in when they freak, they learn that to freak is to win.

The same goes with idle threats.  If we tell them we'll take something away that we really can't, they learn our threats don't matter.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard parents, including my own,  make idle or unreasonable threats.  Here is just a few off the top of my head:

• "We won't go to grandma's if you don' t stop"
• "No more candy if you don't start listening"
• "Well, maybe just this one time..."
• "OK, but this is the last time..."
• "If you do that one more time, I'm canceling your party!"
  
• "How would you like it if I bit you?"
• "If you don't eat your vegetables, you won't grow strong."
• "Keep it up and we're going home [from Disney world]" 
• "I'm calling Santa..."

I know that in each of these situations, parents mean well.  Sometimes parents will threaten to take something away that will affect them, too.  But I think if they just had more tricks in their bag, they wouldn't need these idle threats.

Take it away

I like the take it away approach if I am mad enough.  If my kids are not behaving responsibly, I tell them to shape up or lose the toy, game or TV.  So, here's how my non-idle threat would sound:

"Stop fighting over the remote or you-all are done with the TV."

Of course, if I am enjoying the TV show with them, I wouldn't take 

that away, instead I would say:

"Stop fighting over the remote or you-all are done with it and I 

may change it to the sewing channel"

OK, so anyone who has seen the holes in my socks knows the sewing 

channel threat is a bit idle, but taking the remote away is not.

Earn it back

Many parents have complained that there's nothing left to take away.  

Ah-ha! Now is the time to get good behavior going to earn it all back.  

What I might say, is:

* "I'm looking for good behavior so you can earn a show tonight."  

* "If you behave in this store, you'll earn you're leapster back.

* "First clean up your room, then you'll earn back your MP3 

player."

Am I talking about bribing?

OK can I settle this once and for all? As adults, we earn paychecks for 

working.  We earn promotions and awards for going above and 

beyond. We are rewarded for our work ethic, which of course includes

how we act.

Now, bribery, as I understand it, is when we pay someone for doing 

something bad for us. For example, if I offer the driver's license 

examiner $20 to pass me, I might end up jail. That would be a 

consequence, not a reward. If I offer the bouncer money to let me 

in without checking my ID, that would be wrong, too.

Just for the record, I would never, ever do these kind of things, even 

if I was a dumb teenager who watched too many crime shows. Never.

Summary

Observe how well your kids respond to your threats. If they respond, 

great, you are probably not making idle threats. But if they 

practically yawn at you while you list all the toys they'll never get 

for their birthday, you've got some work to do. And just a non-idle 

threat to you: if you don't think it is a big deal now, imagine 

(shudder, gasp) teenagers!

Seriously, try to make the threats honest. Also, don't punish yourself 

with your threats. It's hard enough being a parent without having to 

take things away from ourselves. That's what diets are for.

8 steps to a successful parent teacher conference

OK, it's that time again.  Parent and teacher conferences.  Does that send a shiver of dread down your spine?  If so, read on.  I'll help you have a calm and informative parent teacher conference.

Parent and teacher conferences come at least once a year.  Many progressive school districts do it twice, however.  If your school district does it twice, you will be having one later this month at the halfway point of the school year.

Assuming that is the case-you've already had one this year, you'll want to mentally review that first conference now, before the second one.

Recall that was the one where you really met the teacher for the first time.  S/he was probably very complimentary about your sweet child.  There may have also been some suggestions.  All in all, it probably felt pretty mild.

But this conference may be different.  The teacher has gotten to know your child very well by now.  S/he knows your little darling's strengths as well as his or her academic or behavioral  weaknesses.

The teacher will again start out with strengths, areas that have improved and then they may come at you with some serious concerns.  How will you react to this?  

Here are some steps to follow for a successful and calm p/t conference:

1. Come prepared with information on how you feel your child is doing academically, based on tests, graded homework and report cards; bring samples with you in a folder.  This will show how organized you are.
2. Bring in any behavioral reports the school has sent you since the last conference.
3. Come prepared with a home plan for the areas of weaknesses you are seeing based on above.
4. If the teacher surprises you with any issues, gently encourage more home-school communication; it isn't unreasonable to ask for weekly emails.
5. Ask the teacher what s/he and the school are planning to do or are already doing to address the issue(s); find out if it's working or how it will be monitored.  Ask for data. 
6. Above all: take notes!  It shows you are serious and also that you are holding the teacher accountable to his or her word.
7. Thank the teacher for his/her time and ask if you can visit/observe/help in the classroom in any way; if you are refused, take this up with the principal.
8. If you get outwardly emotional during this kind of thing (I do), bring a less emotional friend or family member for support. 

Remember to rehearse all this in your mind. You'll be great and your kid will be better off for it!

ok to "sneak snack" after kids are in bed?

With the holidays just passing, I have noticed how often I do this. 

Pretty often.  

Almost every night.  

Oh, all right, every single effing night.

Once the kids are nestled in for the night, it's like I am on auto-pilot and before I know it there is a bowl of ice cream with chocolate syrup and whip cream in front of me.  Or cookies. Or brownies.  Or chocolate cake.  Or, well you get the pic.

These are not things I encourage my kids to eat.  They only get the bad stuff on special occasions.  My kids seem to recognize the treat cabinet and have commented on how only mommy and daddy get to eat from it.  

Frankly, I sort of dread the day when the kids stay up as late as me.  Will I have to share the cheesecake?

Putting mommy's potential eating disorder aside, my biggest worry is that I may be setting the kids up to become obese or something.  I have seen experiments involving kids who are not allowed to have sweet treats.  They just gorge themselves when given the chance.  And the kids who get the junk regularly are more blase.

I want to encourage the kids to eat healthy, but will my plan backfire?

I would love to hear comments on this. Have you ever snuck the forbidden snack at your house?  Do you allow your kids to eat treats as often as you do?  

when your kid is sick...

My kids get sick all the time.  Getting tubes in their ears helped a lot, but with all the other kids' germs, they still seem to always be sick.

I have been to the doctor's office many, many times and the ER once or twice, too.  I have also taken advantage of calling the nurses at my doctor's office whenever I can.  No matter who I am talking to about my kids, they always ask roughly the same questions.

Now keep in mind, I am, on a good day, pretty scatter brained and have been known to forget my kids birthdays.  But when my kids are sick, I tend to quietly freak out, and that makes me even more forgetful.  So, to try to keep the Department of Human Services Child Division from being called due to my mental wariness, I have developed a checklist of sorts to use when my kids are sick. 

It's pretty simple really.  Just a long thin piece of paper (I try not to use a receipt or the backs of utility bills-that leads to other problems), with the following:

• Day, date and time (amazing how easily I forget this!)
• Symptom: fever (the number and how it was taken), vomiting, pain, rash, cough, runny nose, etc.
• Any medicine I gave (type, exactly the dosage-they always ask for this)
• Any food or drink they have/have not kept down 

I keep a running record of this on the same paper if possible and just take it with or refer to it on the phone.  This is especially helpful when more than one kid is sick at the same time.  With my sick checklist, I sound like I have it all together.  Even if I can't find where I parked my car *smile*.