Stress Free Video

This is a fun, amateur video done by students in a psychology class. Funny ending, too.

The Pendulum - Four-legged friendships create necessary stress relief for students

The Pendulum - Four-legged friendships create necessary stress relief for students

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development is studying the effects of animals on stress. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence that animals do help with stress relief. Many people in the article feel they have proof.

And I know many, many people who swear that having pets makes them happy and makes them feel better.

However, having an animal does not reduce stress for everyone. Sorry to the believers, but for me, animals have always added to my stress levels. I liked my animals, I guess, but the fur, the barking/meowing, the destruction of furniture, and the excrement all have me swearing: no more animals!

So, my question is does stress relief with animals only work if people are already an "animal person"?

Natural substance in melons relieves stress and fatigue

Natural substance in melons relieves stress and fatigue

This is an article about a study done using melon juice concentrate. It really helped people with their stress and concentration.

It makes me wonder:

1) where can I get some melon juice concentrate?

2) why is it that there is always a link between stress and concentration?

Difficulty in concentrating is often the first sign of stress in many people. It's as if stress takes over and suddenly nothing gets done.

Will melon juice be the answer? Or will we have to actually figure out how to concentrate our way through stress?

Food for thought.

Ease into Stress Relief

There is a phrase in Mehta Mediation that goes like this:

"May you have ease and well-being."

I have often thought about what that means and why those two words: ease and well-being are together.

When life is such that I feel I am trudging through mud and muck, I am not well. When life is stressful, complicated, messy or depressing, there is no ease and no well-being. Things--big and little--seem out of control and I get overwhelmed.




Ease. It has such a simple nice sound to it. I look around and sometimes see "ease" in my life. When I see it, I know I want more of it. And so sometimes that is really easy. Once I have "eased" it, I am so thankful I did. The phrase, "Keep it Simple, Stupid." comes to mind.

Here are some examples of ease in my life:

• a lock was re-keyed and I carried the spare around in my pocket separate from the rest of my keys. It was NOT easy. But once I did the simple act of removing the old key and putting on the new one, it was SO much easier. Ahh. Ease.

• The top of my dresser had become a catch-all. I hated looking at the clutter. Finally I spent the 15 minutes to clean it off, dust and on it put a simple vase and frame. Now i love looking at that space. Ease.

• My kids toys are forever running out of batteries. Since I use rechargeable wherever I can, they used to wait (and whine) for the 12 hours it took to charge them. Now I have a nifty 15 minute charger that is enough of a wait that the kids appreciate what goes into rechargeable batteries, but it's quick enough that I (almost) hear no whining. Ease.

• This is a biggie. We used to live without a garage because it was so full of clutter (which is the opposite of ease as far as I'm concerned). Now we can both park in the garage, rain or shine and it is SO nice. Ease.

• I now carry around a list for Walmart. When I notice we're out of something or will be soon, I jot it down. This has helped me remember the small and odd things like: garlic powder, lip balm, (rechargeable) batteries, which are a pain to deal with when I forget to get them. Ease.

• Medical receipts. Having one, central location for the receipts has been a godsend. It saves me the time I would hunt for them. It saves me money, too because I never lose those receipts anymore. Ease.

• Setting out clothes the night before. This helps the whole family. We make decisions when we are awake and can make reasonable choices about what the day will be like, what matches, if we need gym shoes, etc. Then in the morning, when we are crabby, tired and incoherent, we at least look like we have it together. Ease.

I've tried to give you a variety of "ease" examples to see how making things easier, can relieve stress. Sometimes it's the little things in our life over which we have control that can really make a difference.

(photo credits: Katie@!, mriggen, Charles Williams)

Nine Things I Can't Blame on the Economy

1. The Weather
This seems to be so random, I can't blame it on anyone. Except a Higher Power who probably has a higher plan, so that's really blameless all around.

2. The Utter Lack of Sleeping Taking Place in My House There are nap strikes. There are adrenaline powered 10 pm bedtimes and one worn out mama. Sheesh.

3. My Irregular Meditation Schedule
This is just my own fault. Really you'd think after reading #2 that I'd have all kinds of reasons to try to chill.




4. Parenting Induced-Attention Deficit Disorder
Seriously I am used to getting interrupted so often, that I can no longer concentrate for more than....Uh, where was I?

5. Technology Problems
My own theory on tech problems is they are a cosmic joke, not a result of over spending, layoffs or the housing market.

6. Critter and Bug Issues
I'd love to blame these littler vermin on someone or something. My friend says, "We are living in their house, remember?" Oh, yeah.

7. Winter is Coming
Now, I know this is related to #1, but I feel it deserves a separate number. In the south, they have no winter, but in the north it's inevitable. Therefore, the only one I can blame winter on is myself, as I choose to live here.



8. My Health
If I am not taking care of myself by getting enough sleep, eating right, meditating and exercising, then I cannot blame recurring sinus issues, back trouble and H1N1 on anyone else.

9. Bullying
There seems to be a relationship between kids bullying and their home and school. But I can only say that both need to educate the kids, give them consequences and not hide under the cozy blanket of denial. When any adult ignores bullying they make bullying powerful




(photo credits: extranoise, Harpersbizarre, mikal-bisnovat, Eddie~S)

stressed about stress?

How many times have you been worried you'd freak out about something?

Or have you ever thought back on a situation and kicked yourself for losing it?

These are the kind of past and present thoughts that can really ruin your (current) day. All that ruminating also distracts you from the present moment. All the stress about stress makes things even worse than the original stress.

Think of stress as a dot, like the period at the end of this sentence. But when we stress about it, the dot grows. When we fight it or avoid it, it grows more and more. This causes suffering. This battle can kill us before there is ever a war. OK, not kill us exactly, but give us quite a headache. Or a mean eye twitch.

The point is that we need to learn to befriend our feelings, even the ones we don't like, especially the ones we don't like. What is your least favorite feeling? For me, I'll do anything to avoid crying, so sadness is the one I hate. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable.

Because I don't cry (read: hate feeling sad), I end up getting teary when I laugh hard and whenever the wind seems to blow toward my face. Think that's coincidence?

However, I need to allow myself to feel sadness because all the avoiding is costing me. It's causing me to get really angry at myself. And when I get angry at myself, let's just say I'm not Mary Freakin' Poppins.






And so, I need to get to a place where I can welcome my sadness. Having feelings means I'm alive. And I am thankful, really thankful to be alive. And if being alive means I feel sad sometimes...I am working on it.


(Photo Credit: Finsec, A National Acrobat)

Top tips for the recently unemployed

The Unemployment Olympics

My household has dealt with unemployment for almost 14 months.

There I said it, er wrote it. And, I have to say that I may look back on this time in my life and feel I really learned a lot. However, most likely, I will look back and think boy did that suck.

Whew! That feels good to have gotten off my chest. Which brings me to the first of my top tips for the recently unemployed.

1. Try not to freak out.
Freaking out will not help. Trust me on this. Take a deep breath (or fifty). It's going to be OK.

2. Accept that short term planning may be all you can do right now.
This may be a short term thing or a long term thing, it's impossible to know. The one thing you can plan on is today and maybe tomorrow. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Have you heard of the phrase "Take it one day at a time."? Try to live by that and you'll realize you can handle whatever happens each day.

3. Get it together.
Educate yourself. You have choices. Contact the unemployment office for a quote of your entitlements. Discover if you will qualify for food assistance, rent assistance, etc. Consider your richest relative; now may be the time to seek them out. I'm not kidding, here. These are desperate times and that does call for desperate measures.

4. You're not alone, so don't live that way.
Find a support group, online forum, or career counselor. The more support you can get, the better prepared you will be for the adventure of job searching! You will need to vent about all this stuff you are going through. Your spouse will want you out their hair. It's win-win.

Superheros aren't the only ones looking for a job these days.

5. Structure your days.
OK, I know it is tempting to catch up on sleep and just "hang out" until something magically comes up, however, it's really important for your mental health that you do something productive each and every day. Try cleaning, painting, going to the library or outdoor projects. Keep structured and keep busy.

6. Deal with less money.
OK, here is a great way to reframe your sudden poverty. It's called going green! Yes, going green can save you BIG money and joblessness is a great excuse to save humankind.

Go Green to Save Green

The above tips have helped me and my family keep our sanity. I know (because I've followed my own tips) that Number 1 is really the most important, so I'll repeat it again.

Freaking out will not help. Trust me on this. Take a deep breath (or fifty). It's going to be OK.

(Photo credits: clementine gallot, steve p2008, ewen and donabel)

A Closer Look at Quality Sleep

Deborah Rozman Ph.D.: Why You Can't Sleep at Night and What You Can Do About It

Apparently we can blame some of our sleep trouble on our heart rhythm. When we are stressed, our heart beats irregularly, but the heart needs a nice, even beat for us to feel relaxed enough to get a good night's sleep.

There are some great "right now, today" tips here, including links for a FREE e-book download and a FREE webinar download.

time vs. money?

Time- well there is never enough of it. And we can never get back what we've lost.
Of course working, uses our time so we can earn money.


Money- is more short term-sort of. We need it mostly right now, and always try to earn back what we've spent. And when we din;t have enought money it;s a right NOw isituaion. So, some are willing to give up som time to save some money.

Time & Money are inextricabley linked. We use our time to earn money. We can spend a ton of money in seconds. We can spend a ton of time on something that earns pennies.

Tired? 7 quick tips to get more energy right now, today

These days, it seems, everyone is so tired. I see yawning all day long from my co-workers. People space out at meetings. Maybe it's because they are excruciatingly boring? Don't get me started.

And let's not forget the adult ADD symptoms. Um, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. Energy.

I have noticed my own energy seems to wane in the afternoon, especially between 2-4pm. Sometimes, I am SO lethargic, I can barely do any work. However, I have found 7 ways to wake myself up. They really work.


1. Take a walk
This is a life-saver. During that 2-4 sleepy-time I have every afternoon, I get up and walk around my building at least every 20-30 minutes. It only takes a few minutes and really helps. On the weekends, I try to walk outside.

I actually think walking outside helps wake me up even more. Maybe my grandma was right about fresh air. Of course, any regular exercise done at any time during the day can energize someone for hours.

2. Do something offline : )
OK, maybe not RIGHT now, but later after you finish reading this post. Sometimes, my eyes fatigue after a few hours on the computer and I find taking a break from "screen time" really helps.

f10n4

3. Caffeine
OK. Officially, I am off the caffeine, however... I do like a bit of dark chocolate during my tired time every pm. I'm not sure how much it helps my energy levels, but it sure is divine.

Joi

4. Get more sleep
Apparently, we are a sleep deprived society. And that kind of fatigue causes attention span issues AND carbohydrate binges. I know I tend to snack more when I am tired.

5. Eat less simple carbs
I have noted that I get that I crash much more in the afternoons following a nice sugary treat after lunch. So, I try to keep lunch as light as possible, while still really healthy.

6. See your doctor
This is really important. Sometimes there is a medical reason we feel tired. I, myself, keep an eye on three things via doctor's visits and blood work: Thyroid, Insulin Resistance and (OMG) menopause. Someday the fatigue I feel may be better accounted for due to medical reasons.

atomicjeep

7. Lose weight
Ever see those weight loss commercials? The (newly) skinny people always say, I've got so much energy! This may actually be the only true part of those commercials. Carrying around too much weight can sap your energy like nothing else. OK, disclaimer time--see your doctor if you want to lose weight so she can bless your weight loss plan.

my secret big SPLURGE

Some people, who shall remain nameless, wrinkle their nose at the thrifty things I do. They wonder what the heck do I spend my money on, anyway.

I am going to tell you about my biggest splurge and how I even managed to save money with it!

I have found that I tend to tense my shoulders up, like all the time.

So, if you're going to BlogHer this Friday and you see someone walking around with their shoulders up to their ears, that's me. I really do notice myself doing this very often. Even as I write this, I am doing it. Down shoulders, down!

Besides this being weird, it also has wreaked havoc on my shoulders and back muscles and boy do I pay for it through general soreness, upper back problems and neck strain.

My solution, would be to get a massage every night, but alas, I couldn't find a private masseuse who would come over and do this every night for peanuts.



Instead, I used all that money I have saved and bought a Human Touch Massage Chair.

I just LOVE this thing! I use it nearly every night for 15-30 minutes. It has programmable options for where it hurts, plus a general 15 minute lower back, upper back or full back option. It also has three different programs for my feet or legs. As well, it has a 15 minute stretch that is out of this world!

The gurus at Human Touch researched how to make this all feel, well, human. It does the rolling, kneading, compression and percussion that REAL massage pros do. It also allows you to adjust the intensity, for those of us who like it, ahem, rough.

I justify this as a stress and health related expense. Massages reduce stress, help circulation and beef up your immune system. I also find the feeling of kneading to relax the heck out of me, too, so I can sleep better.

I actually saved money on this over paying for massages. I figured if I had a massage every week, this chair paid for itself in less than a year. I can't say enough about this chair, worth more than what I paid!

Anyone else want to confess, I mean share, their secret splurge?

do you know exactly what time it is?

alexkerhead

It seems while I was in school and working 3 part times jobs, I always wore a watch. I really needed to always know what time it was and where I needed to be. However, even on the rare day off, I needed to wear it.

People depended on me. I had one friend who didn't even own a watch and when we were out, it was a regular question. And I was more than fine with that. I needed to know what time it was now, how much time until I had to stop what I was doing. How much time I had until work started or ended. How long the class I was in was supposed to last. I was like addicted to knowing exactly what time it was, all the day long.

Eventually, after finished grad school and an additional certificate, I began my career. It was weird only having one place to be at each day and having weekends off. I was thrown off and kept forgetting to wear my watch.

The first day I realized and panicked! How would I know when I had to be at that meeting? How would I know when lunch was over? How much longer until I could go home?

But it went OK. I learned to use something called a clock.

I discovered they are just about everywhere. I also learned my cell phone had one, my laptop had one and my car had one.

Pretty soon, I began letting my watches' batteries run out. Eventually, I stopped wearing them altogether.

jurvetson

Now I have been officially watch free for over 5 years and loving it! There are times I actually don't want to know the time because I have discovered a watched clock ticks a lot. Time goes by at that same pace: tick...tick...tick, when I "watch" it.

But when I don't watch the clock, I feel free, unencumbered and time goes by so much faster. I can focus on where I am and what I am doing. There is nothing holding me back.

How about you? What time is it? Watch, clock or maybe sundial?

burned out? 7 quick tips to customize your life

pvera

So, Alec Baldwin is considering getting into politics! He may run against Joe Lieberman. Changing careers at his age is very common.

As I approach middle age (yikes!), I am noticing similar things happening to me and my friends. Some have changed careers, some are getting divorced and some are questioning everything they stand for.

I feel like I am in a constant state of improvement, myself. I try to learn all I can on living a better, healthier life and apply things as I learn them.

One theme among my friends is not hopeful improvement, however, it's burnout.

Many of the changes being made by people is a result of not feeling something for their current situation, be it a job or marriage. They are lacking the passion they once had for things and asking those existential questions:

How did this become my life? Is this all there is for me?

Some say these are dangerous questions to ask. I can sort of see their point. The answers to those questions can lead a man or woman to leave their family. Those answers can hurt the people around the questioner, those people who thought they had their life planned out and knew what to expect, only to have it turned upside down thanks to someone who seemed to suddenly be so unsatisfied.

On the other hand, the answers to those questions can be very liberating! Those answers can lead to new endeavors and an enriched life. After all, we are here for a very limited amount of time (as far an anyone knows for sure).

I think the most dangerous thing about these questions is if they are asked of oneself only once in a lifetime. I am in a constant state of self-improvement, but I am also constantly asking myself those questions as I go and have been for years.

If you do find yourself feeling a bit dispassionate or burned out, I have come up with 7 quick tips to help customize your life--make your "cookie cutter" life more of your own.


Hobbies

These include the basics: gardening, collections, car tinkering, and crafts. But also consider genealogy. Sometimes looked at where we come from can connect us to the present in a new and spirited way. Another great hobby to consider is photography. Here is a great link for those looking to improve their skills. Whatever hobby you choose, make it something you can feel passionate about! This will help make your life seem more worthwhile and more about you.


Special Interests, Charities and Causes

This can really light a fire under people. Think of a greater need than your own and then put some effort into it. Think awareness, research and fund raising. Many famous people do this and I suspect it's their way of taking control of their lives and giving themselves a legacy beyond acting or sports.


Socializing

There is a lot of new social media out there: twitter, facebook, my space, yahoo, stumbleupon, etc. They can be great ways to keep in touch with your current friends, reconnect to old (think grammar school) friends as well as meet new people with similar interests. There is no end to how many people you can connect with. You can even follow me on twitter!


Trips

Sometimes the act of physically seeing that there is more to life beyond your little world can really change a person's perspective. If finances are tight, consider a short trip to a ethnic museum or festival near where you live.

cliff1066

Image, Looks

Generally speaking, this is the one area in which we have the most freedom. Get a new hair cut, color your tresses or get a perm. Wear glasses or switch to contacts. Buy clothes in a different style. You can lose weight or just tone those arms (think Michelle Obama).

foxypar4

Health

This can take the shape of diet or exercise. Even if you are already in pretty good shape, there is always room for improvement. How about learning a new exercise? Yoga, running, kettle ball, weights and in line skating are all great ways to do something we love that will love us back.


Environment

Look around you. Do you see clutter and poor air quality? Dated decorations? What about toxins in the form of household cleaners or pesticides? Try organizing, getting houseplants, rearranging furniture and making your own cleaners. There are even nontoxic alternatives to insecticides.

These tips are especially helpful if you are not looking to make that big change right now. Maybe you are committed to staying at your job or marriage, but are just seeking...something. Take hold of those other parts of your life and individualize them, just for you.

Please comment back on how you customize your own life, I know others would love to hear it (me, too)!

my seven favorite posts on meditation

About a year ago, I took a one day class on anger management. The woman who taught it seemed to know what she was talking about as she described working with crisis intervention, the police, and running anger management classes off and on for the last 20 years in various social service agencies.

infomaniac

During the 6 hour class, she spent 5 on meditation. I was flabbergasted. I actually laughed (inwardly) at how annoying it was listening to her go on and on for the first 2 hours.

But then she had all of us do an actual silent meditation. It was amazing!

zedzap

I was so proud that I was able to do it. Meditation is really very simple, but not always easy, if that makes sense. Since it probably doesn't make sense I thought I'd link to all my favorite posts on meditation in hopes someone reading will have that same amazing moment I had with my first meditation.

Here are my 7 favorite meditation posts:

mini-meditation
This is from holistic divorce. I know it seems strange at first to go to a website about divorce to learn about meditation, but when you think about it, it really isn't. Divorce is one of the most stressful events in a person's life. It is especially hard on kids. I am fully in favor of this website as it helps to ease this stress.

tea meditation
I like this post as it brings two of favorite activities for living a nontoxic life together: tea and meditation.

natural meditation
What a great reminder for us to get in touch with nature on a daily basis. This post indirectly describes mindfulness in a very natural way.

tipiro

why to meditate
This is a great overview of the reasons to meditate. How to Meditate explains all this much better than I.

the real scoop on the present moment
This is from Tricycle. It actually surprised me a bit because I always thought the reason the present moment was "wonderful" was because we were alive. Not because the moment itself was so great, beautiful, or serene. However, others have thought the "present moment" was supposed to be so great just because we are "in" it.


my posts

• This post is about mental multi-tasking and how doing so takes away from the present moment.
• This next post is entitled 5 quick ways to relax into mindfulness right now, today. I think this is another good starting place for anyone interested in meditation.

Meditation has really changed my life. I am more in control of my anger-much of what used to set me off doesn't seem that important anymore. I also handle stress in general much better, again, I am not so interested in the drama of my life.

kjarrett

5 quick ways to relax into mindfulness right now today

1. Breathe
Right now, today, as you are reading this, close your eyes and listen or observe three in-breaths and three out-breaths. They don't have to be particularly slow or deep breaths. Tomorrow, try to remember to do this several times a day. I like to use the ringing phone as a reminder. Once it begins to ring, I close my eyes and take a few breaths. Then, I answer the phone.


2. Walk
Today, when you are done at the computer, really observe your walking. What material do your feet feel? Your socks, flip flops, or the floor? How does it feel? Rough, supported, warm? How does each step feel? Are you walking steady, slow or fast, or wobbly? Really observe how your heel hits the floor and which part of your foot comes next. This is a form of walking meditation that can be practiced anywhere, anytime. For slightly longer walks, some like to match their pace with their breathing. My pace is usually three paces on the in-breath and three on the out-breath.

FaceMePLS

3. Wash the Dishes
That's right, it's possible to very mindful when doing household tasks, such as the dishes, even if it's just loading and unloading them. Consider what you are doing. I like to say a little gatha to myself:

"I am loading the silverware, I am loading the silverware, front to back, back to front."

I do the same for bowls, plates, etc. I know this sounds out there, but let's face it, you are probably out there in mindless space more than you are here in the moment. Even doing dishes is a moment in your life. Why not be present to it?

stacy michell

4. Meditate
Right now, today, here is a little meditation to try. Sit comfortably. Close your eyes. Say this to yourself:

"I am sitting, I am mindful, I am breathing, I am." For the sitting, observe your body's position and how it relates to sitting. For the mindful, observe how your skin feels where clothed and where bare. For the breathing, try counting to 20, using odd numbers, (in one, out one, in three, out three), then back down from 20 using even numbers (in twenty, out twenty, in eighteen, out eighteen).



5. Sleep
When trying to fall asleep tonight, try this gatha: "Laying down (in breath), resting finally (out breath), I am resting my body (in breath) and recharging my mind (out breath)."

faith goble

I would love to hear from you about this, please comment below!

your own personalized church service

hoyasmeg

After talking to a friend recently about things we like and don't like about church service, I got to thinking...

What would your own church service look like if you could develop it yourself?

music?
A high school rock band, singing inspirational songs (yes they exist).

lighting?
Candles, campfire, outdoor lighting

Mely-o

readings?
From Maya Angelou, Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Buddha.

sermon?
I'd like to hear something about how important our daily interactions are. Something which is both helpful and motivational. I think people have a lot of stressful encounters every day and wears on us. I'd actually love to hear from someone who experienced these kinds of issues and has real-life solutions.

all ages or adults only?
I really feel at my best when EVERYONE is included at church.

communion?
Not that long ago I went to a chocolate communion service and loved it.

Darwin Bell

Please reply below with your ideal church service. Remember it's your service, so anything goes!

24 four hour "grace period" for emails

surfstyle

You know what I'm talking about here. You are at your job and reading emails. Things go along at a tedious and boring rate until: BAM! You get the most irritating and irrational email yet. Worse, it's actually sent to many with a request to reply back, "ASAP". You hit reply-all and go to town.

Though I try very hard not to let my inner toxicity show, here is a quote from a reply I drafted recently:

"OK. This has to be the most ridiculous idea for department meetings yet. We are already overworked and underpaid. And Jane (not her real name), I can't believe you think weekly meetings will help efficiency!!! Are you stupid or just on crack??!! Has it ever occurred to you that if we had less of these STUPID emails to answer, we would get more work done??!!! Anyone who actually goes to this meeting is an idiot and a loser!

Best,

Maggie"

respres

Of course, I said, "draft" because there is no way this should have been sent out. I gave it the 24 hour furious grace period and edited it a bit:

"OK. I agree we need to have department meetings regularly, but I have to respectfully disagree that weekly meetings are the way to go. Correct me if I'm wrong here, Jane, but I think last year we agreed that scheduling large of chunks of time for paperwork increased efficiency. Given that, wouldn't it make more sense to schedule these meetings biweekly so we could still have larger amounts of time for paperwork on those off-weeks? Just a thought. Can we dialogue about this (via email) before the next meeting, though, so I know if anyone else is on the same page? Maybe I'm just off with all this.

Best,

Maggie"

I got more people coming out of the woodwork agreeing with me and thanking me for reminding them about our earlier discussion on efficiency. We ended up with having the biweekly meetings, thankyouverymuch!

Had I sent the former, I would now be looking for a new job and probably not finding one.

Darren Foreman

I actually keep some drafts in my personal email folder for up to a year before sending them. Those involve family emails that are just short of telling some relatives to eff off, due to the disrespectful/non-supportive/dishonest email I received from them. I feel that is important enough to wait a VERY long while to edit and then send.

On the other hand, I usually gather all my bitchiness about me when I faced with a customer service issue via email. I have really let some companies get my worst thoughts with a 'cc' to whatever corporate office they have. However, to be completely honest, I'd rather have it out with them on the phone than via email. It's much more fun and natural to be an irate customer using tone of voice and volume.

Does anyone else subscribe to a "grace period" for nasty emails?

6 quick tips to save time

FABIOLA MEDEIROS- direção de arte

Time is money. Life is short. A stitch in time saves nine. These are all phrases speaking to the importance of time management. And who wouldn't like to see days last longer than 24 hours?

Here are 6 quick tips to save time, right now, today:

1. Lists (This mainly applies to hard copy list makers)

--> use one for each day

--> include to do lists, errand lists and shopping lists with coupons attached

--> categorize things: department store list, grocery list, father's day presents list

--> keep lists in central location, preferably posted in an obvious place

GoldenEel

2. Planning

--> check email/facebook/blog comments only twice a day, not as they come in

--> schedule days off like they were work days

--> be thinking ahead to next 24 hours, but have week planned and month roughly planned

--> set iCal/PDA/phone calendar with alerts/reminders

--> put out clothes, make lunches, etc., the night before

3. Efficiency of movements

--> laundry basket organization: divide basket into two sides, one can be for each child or they can be for sheets and towels. Fold clothes as they come out of the dryer or down from the line so you are only touching them once.

-->planning errand routes for way home to save time and gas money

-->mail in and out: set up an outgoing and ingoing area. Outgoing are bills and things that need action or to be mailed. Ingoing are for things that need to be kept and filed. Purge both areas weekly

ali edwards

4. Organization

--> keep like things in the same place: keys to car, dirty clothes, items to bring to work each day, library books

-->keep fridge organized with all dairy items on one shelf and all bread items on another shelf, etc.

5. Early to bed early to rise

--> getting enough sleep will help you work more efficiency and save time

--> can get things done and have time to mentally go over the day before others are up

6. Using wait time

--> bring lists or PDA with you when waiting in the shopping store line to go over and fine tune plans and lists

--> use time when waiting for train or on train to work

--> carefully return calls on way home (safely, hands free, please)

If you follow some of these tips, right now, today, you will find things getting done faster and your stress level going down. I'd love to hear others tips to save time, too. Please comment below and I'll add you to the list with a link!

8 ways to avoid or end a toxic relationship

Uploaded on March 13, 2008
by John-Morgan

I just posted about my own personal experience with a toxic relationship. Here is a more objective description along with 8 tips to help you avoid or end a toxic relationship.

Even though I think most people know a toxic relationship when they see it, I still think a definition is in order.

A toxic relationship is a relationship between two or more people. It involves some toxic activity ranging from:

• dangerous stuff like abuse, drug use and other illicit activities
• less dangerous, but just as toxic things like lying, stealing, and cheating
• most common toxic relationships I know of consist of more subtle things like one person "using" another or bullying the other person through guilt or threats
  

These are the relationships where one person feels the other is "draining the life out of them."

This is not healthy! Your friends should make you feel good and supported. Friends should be fun!

Uploaded on June 18, 2006
by Gwennypics

Ok, now that we've identified a toxic relationship, here are 8 ways to avoid or end the relationship:

1) Be weary- when you first meet someone, look for ANY signs that things may get toxic. See my list of warning signs

2) Be picky- no one NEEDS to have 224 friends on face book. In my opinion, a person only needs three to five good friends to be healthy

3) Be available, but- not at anyone's beck and call. You should always maintain your own, separate life outside of the friendship

4) Be aware of their other friends- if your their only friend, there could be a toxic reason for that

Uploaded on January 31, 2009
by simplified complication

5) Breaking up directly- tell them honestly, but tactfully. "I think we need a break from each other." "I feel like I don't have the time for this friendship right now." "I need to spend more time with other people right now." Notice these are all "I" statements that put the burden on you, not them. This doesn't have to be any more confrontational than it needs to be.

6) Breaking up, "fade style"- this can be done by slowly decreasing contact and future plans, while becoming quite busy in another part of you life. If done correctly, the other person may be mad, but not overly enraged.

7) Breaking up, the blow off- this may not be the nicest, but it does work well in some situations. You can start by blowing off some instant/text messages, emails, etc. Then move on to making plans that you won't keep. Forget to call them or send them a card. This sends a strong message that you aren't good friend material and should allow them to feel THEY ended the friendship.

8) Breaking up, legal means- OK, this is a last resort, for sure, but if things have gotten stalkerish or violent, you really do need to get a restraining order or order of protection. Contact your local police for more information. Sadly this was the direction I had to go in my own toxic relationship.

How do you end or avoid a toxic relationship?

I was in a toxic relationship

Several years ago, I was friends with a woman who lived in my building. She was young and seemed so innocent, that being her first place of her own. I was drawn to her youthfulness.

We chatted and drank some beers. We seemed to get really close, really fast. We gave each other "lock out" keys. I even had her let my mom in once when I was running late.

We went through some hard times: breaking up with boyfriends, and having both our apartments burglarized. I even covered for her when she was hungover and her boss called.

After about 10 months, my mom of all people made me wonder about my friend. She called me to say her friend from the pharmacy knew my friend and knew her to be a "druggie".

This led me to rethink the burglary and the numerous hangovers. I began observing things in a whole new way. Unfortunately, my mom's friend turned out to be right. My friend was an addict.

It had been she who stole my things, faking a similar break in at her place to throw off suspicion. She was also indirectly responsible for my boyfriend breaking up with me. In reality, I was in a toxic relationship.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and I can now tell you the warning signs I did not see:

1) She was always trying to get me to be like her. She was very into predrinking and thought I should be, too.

2) She got really over personal with me. Even that first night I met her, she told me such personal things about her childhood that I almost felt obligated to her, if that makes sense.

3) She got jealous. She didn't like all the time I spent with my other friends and my boyfriend. She would call me really drunk and crying many of the nights I was out without her.

4) I just didn't feel GOOD with her. It was always dramatic and usually in a very dragging way.

5) I actually realize now I never liked her. I always felt obligated and guilty.

6) She actually stole from me. And lied. A lot, apparently.

7) I don't know why she picked me or really wanted to have any kind of relationship with me, but it wasn't based on respect, for sure. I think I was just there, in the apartment building, at the right time.

Does any of this ring a bell? Most people I have talked to admit to having been involved in some kind of toxic relationship in their life.

I know I should have known better, but honestly the drama was so loud, I couldn't hear my own gut screaming.